Dear Duke

I am the Golden Retriever to whom you charged down the street this morning after your people somehow let you out of your house. I know you're just a puppy, which is why I merely barked sharply at you to keep your distance, and why I raised no objections when you proceeded to sniff my butt without my permission.

But dude, your people need educating. This isn't the first time they've shown deficient dog care skills. Heck, just a month ago, my person (that would be Susan) intercepted you when you went racing down the street the day after the big blizzard. And Susan's lost count of the number of times your doggie sister has made a break from your yard and/or *your* person has walked your sis around the block without a leash.

I think Susan is still too p.o.'d at your person to engage with him directly. That being the case, I have some suggestions for you, which I hope (wish) you'll pass on to your person:

1. Have him tell the rest of your family to check and see where you and your sister are before they open the front door.

2. Have them teach you a cue such as "wait" or "stay" to use whenever you *are* at the front door at the same time that they're exiting said door.

3. Don't go charging down the street to meet another dog. The next dog you meet might not be as nice as I am -- especially if that dog leashed and you're not.

4. Tell your person that yelling at you from up the street to come back is not going to work. Why should you go back when you're busy trying to get acquainted with me?

5. Tell your person that yelling your name in his best drill sergeant voice isn't going to get you to pay attention to him when, again, you're busy trying to get acquainted with me.

6. Finally, tell your person that the common courtesy of apologizing is the very least that he can do when this sort of situation occurs.

Your neighbor,
Allie